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Our CFA is officially fired. Apparently, he's not the real deal.

But don't worry...someone else will take over him!

I am just. plain. rude.

What I would have said to Michael Jackson if I knew he would have the chance to read it.

When Mrs Smith's daughter was asked by the teacher what she wants to be when she grows up...

(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit.  I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it.    Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole.  It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs.  Smith

If only the Dean had known me so well